I am now 17 weeks pregnant!
What!? Pregnant!? Didn’t you guys had it difficult the first time you had a baby?
Yes I am pregnant and yes it was hard the first time around. I went through a very hard post partum depression that lasted almost a year. D
id we have second thoughts of having a baby again? Honestly, we didn’t want to go down the same road again. We really considered having just one child. We are happy with Xielo, we are satisfied just the three of us. And most specially we are getting back to our normal routine; no more sleepless nights, we can have our time together again, more time in the school and on the field. As new missionaries, financially it was hard for us staring a family. So why go back to that road again?
A lot of people were telling us that years from now we might regret just having one child. Carlo and I talked that if we do decide to just have one child and come to that point someday, we just have to forgive each other.
We talked to couples whom we are accountable with our marriage, they said we need to pray about it. So we prayed. We prayed that God in His perfect timing and wisdom will give us the right decision. We believe that each family has their own reasons for deciding the number of children. But for us it is more of God’s calling and if we are ready to heed the call.
Last year God put me in situations that helped us decide.
Last year I was studying Christian Motherhood class in our school. We discussed about how we are called by God to be stewards of our children. We talked about the joys and pains of parenting. From nurturing your children to disciplining. The class made me more confident as a parent and realize that parenting is more on co-parenting it with God. Trusting Him that He loves your children more than I love them. I was also encouraged on the last day of our Motherhood class when the daughter of our teacher gave her story on how she appreciates her parents for not giving up on her during her trying times and for showing her love and to appreciate who she is in God’s eyes. I saw her parents struggled with her but it was so nice to see her appreciating her parents and glorifying God now in her life and in her marriage.
Another class that God used is the Biblical womanhood class. It made me appreciate the power of being a woman, in God’s design. That class made me cry, realizing how sometimes I would think of my convenience than thinking how I can be a woman, mother and wife that God designed me to be. I took this class last January and this was also the time that Carlo and I were deciding to get pregnant or never again. In one of our session, Adam was not aware that he needs a companion but God knows that sooner or later he will feel lonely. We are really made for relationships. So He provided Eve as his companion. After that class I went home and saw Xielo and Carlo sleeping. Xielo was on top of Carlo peacefully sleeping on her father’s chest. I realized it will be selfish of me if I just give Carlo only one chance to love a child. These past few years I saw how good and loving father he is with Xielo. He has so much more love to give. On the other hand, Xielo is a pe
ople person, she loves to play with other children. She gets excited during playtime especially when she play with one of our missionary friend’s kids. It will be selfish of me to let her be alone in her life. I knew that she will get lonely sooner or later. So, that day God spoke to me that this is the right time to have another child.
This is not a sacrifice for me, but an obedience to God and trusting in Him in His sovereignty.
How about you? What made you decide to have another child or to only have one child?
If you are interested to know more about the classes that I took, please go to this website and inquire about the Christian Motherhood class and Biblical Womanhood class of the Partner’s in Ministry at IGSL. http://igsl.asia/